Dreams
by mackenzie925
Summary: Harm's in an accident ... or is it? Mac must investigate him and his cases, and ends up seeing visions of him. HM story.
1. The Accident

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 1: The Accident  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Georgetown  
  
0200  
  
Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie found herself dreaming more and more about her partner. Maybe it was her subconscious. Maybe something in the universe was trying to tell her something. Maybe. For now, however, her relationship with the Commander has survived Paraguay, and it seemed for the first time in months they had finally been on good terms. As far as any feelings for the man was concerned, she was content to keep it at bay until something told her it was time, or that they were indeed ready for such a change. Obviously, since Paraguay their friendship has strained a bit, and any "relationship" was still a ways away. They still had much to work through, many issues to work through if it ever was going to happen. So maybe dreams about him were not uncommon, considering her mind had been on him lately.  
Every time she dreamt, the events through her dream proceeded further and further. The conclusion to such a dream seemed far off, relaying to her that it would be some time before the issue within her head concerning the commander was resolved. So far, the dream had taken her to JAG, more importantly to Harm's office. She felt that she had been seeing images of Harm, almost ghost like, but Harm was not actually in the office. The more intriguing the events, the more complicated and strange they had become. Sometimes it was conversations of anger towards Harm, sometimes loving, and sometimes confusion. What was most interesting tonight was her sudden arrival at Harm's apartment, but this time, there was no Harm. She felt herself searching, searching, but continually the apartment remained empty. The phone suddenly rang, and with that the dream broke. Mac vaguely heard it, and slowly picked up the receiver. "Colonel Mackenzie," she responded tiredly. "Colonel," came the rigid sounding voice. At that, the realization of who was on the other side of the phone awakened her quickly. "Admiral, sir." The Admiral wasted no time. "I've just received word that Commander Rabb was in a car accident. Circumstances are relatively sketchy. However, he is in extremely critical condition." All Mac heard was Rabb and critical condition in the same sentence. The rest was a blur as her mind traveled at the speed of light; questions, images, memories. Then another word caught her attention, "Colonel?" "Yes, sir. I'll get to the hospital as soon as I can." "I thought you might want to join me. I'll give you a better summary when you arrive. Use safety, Colonel, I don't need to lose two good officers." With that, the phone went silent, and Mac quickly hung it up. She would take caution, certainly, but there would be no hesitation in dressing quickly in sweatpants and a sweatshirt to guard herself from the cold of the winter night and getting into her 'vette. What surprised her the most as she turned her car and raced it down the street was her still strong loyalty and caring for a man whom she had been at odds with for quite sometime. How interesting indeed.  
  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0250  
  
The confusion was massive throughout the emergency room, and it was all anyone could do to find the service desk. Mac pushed her way past the waiting room to a nurses' station, and found a female nurse talking rapidly to someone on the phone. The nurse seemed not to notice Mac as she turned her back to the Colonel and continued her conversation. Noticeably irritated, Mac lightly patted the counter. "Ma'am!" The nurse continued to ignore her, and again Mac continued to knock on the counter, this time louder and more insistent. "Hey!"  
  
The nurse finally turned, "I'll be right with you, Ma'am."  
  
"No, wait, all I need is the location of a patient."  
  
The nurse smiled, "I understand that, Ma'am, but you will have to wait just a few more minutes for me to finish this call." The nurse turned to her phone call, and Mac's patience, though usually much more tame, was not so in the middle of the night. Mac moved quickly around the desk and searched through the records acquired today. The nurse turned to see what she was doing, and protested frantically, "Ma'am! You cannot be here, get outta here. You must wait your turn!" Mac ignored the woman, found the number, and walked away. She was not in the mood to make a point of the rudeness of the nurse, nor did she have the physical or mental strength for such a confrontation. She needed to get to her Harm . Commander Rabb, as quickly as possible.  
  
Harm's location was not in the ER, but up in the OR. Mac might've thought of that had her mind not been so preoccupied by so many other emotions. The elevator ride was quick, and she raced through the dull blue hallways. She came to a three way stop, which the sign promptly lead her left. The moment she turned, she saw the Admiral pacing from one side of the waiting room to the other. His face was a mirror image of her own emotions.  
  
"Admiral!" she called as she raced quickly to his side. The Admiral acknowledged her and moved quietly to a seat. Mac anxiously followed. "Admiral, what happened?" she prompted once again. Admiral Chegwidden just folded his arms and neglected to look at her. "Apparently, Commander Rabb was out for a midnight drive. What the circumstances were that led up to this, I don't know, Colonel." Mac sighed, leaned back in her chair, and rubbed her temple. It had already been a long night, and the worse was surely yet to come. Chegwidden stood up again, and walked quietly over to the water cooler. Questions continued to race through Mac's mind, and yet each one seemed pertinent enough to be asked first. Before she could speak up, however, the Admiral answered for her, "The Commander is in surgery. He had a pretty bad concussion, some serious internal hemorrhaging. Other than that, not much has been released." The Admiral knew how much Harm and Mac had meant to each other, and knew that not much could keep them away from each other in a situation like this. He also knew that the Colonel needed to know the seriousness of the Commander's condition. She deserved it. "There's more, Colonel. And it involves JAG. The surgery will take at least 3 more hours. Let's go get some coffee. If there's any changes, they'll let us know." Mac shook her head. "No, sir, I can't leave him. I won't." "Colonel, there's nothing you can do. Commander Turner said he would be here shortly, and he can take over waiting. However, there's more to this case, and I can't talk about it here. I order you to join me," insisted the Admiral, who this time caught the interest of Mac. There was something in his voice, something he wasn't saying. What more could there be? How did it involve JAG? Now she had more questions, and no answers to accompany them. "I know this is hard, Colonel, but you need to know this first." Mac nodded and followed the Admiral. 


	2. Aftermath and Dream

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 2: Aftermath and Dream  
  
Hospital Cafeteria  
  
0330 EST  
  
The line through the cafeteria was non-existent, mostly because of the time of night. This allowed the Admiral and the Colonel to get their coffee quietly and sit down. All Mac could feel was the ocean wave of emotions that had invaded her since this started. The Admiral led them to a table next to a well sized window looking out at the now dark courtyard. Mac took a sip of her coffee, and looked up at her commanding officer.  
  
"What else did you want to say, Admiral?"  
  
The Admiral sighed. "I just wanted to warn you, Colonel, that there will probably be a JAG man investigation ." but before he could finish, the Colonel spoke up.  
  
"I would be happy to lead it, sir."  
  
"I don't think so, Colonel."  
  
"But sir .!"  
  
The Admiral spoke up a little more urgently, "Colonel, it's not going to happen. You are too emotionally involved in the case. The initial reports indicate foul play of some sort. This is not an ordinary car accident. I'm putting Turner in charge of the investigation."  
  
Mac just shook her head, realizing this was a conversation that she did not wish to take up at this time. Instead she moved onto the circumstances of the case. "The car accident happened a few hours ago. What could have possibly been discovered already?"  
  
Taking a sip from his coffee, Admiral Chegwidden replied, "A .38 was found at the scene. And it had been fired."  
  
OR Waiting Room, Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0400 EST  
  
Commander Turner ran quickly to the waiting room only to find no one there. He swiftly walked over to the service desk and inquired about Harmon Rabb, Jr. This nurse seemed much nicer than the one Mac had encountered, and politely told him that the patient was still in surgery. Sturgis sighed in relief, and walked over to the waiting room to sit down. He, too, had been awakened in the middle of the night by the Admiral, and also had a devotion to Rabb. They had been friends for quite some time, and lately, since Sturgis had come to JAG, their friendship had grown quite a bit. However, he found it a little odd that he was the only one in the waiting room.  
  
In the time he had started making conclusions as to their whereabouts, Mac and AJ suddenly appeared. "Admiral, Colonel," the Commander replied, standing up to greet them. "Any word yet?"  
  
"Only that he's still in surgery," Mac supplied.  
  
Sturgis nodded, unsure of what needed to be said.  
  
The Admiral then spoke up, "Any word from Bud and Harriet?"  
  
"Not that I know of, sir," Sturgis replied.  
  
Mac moved quietly over to a nearby chair, and folded her hands in her lap. "Now all we can do is wait." Sturgis nodded, moving to grab a magazine on one of the end tables, and sitting down. AJ said something briefly about going for a walk, though Mac did not remember him saying it. Her mind drifted again. However, this time, she couldn't help but fall asleep.  
  
OR Waiting Room, Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0430  
  
Mac found herself at Harm's apartment once again. The apartment was clean and neat, and it almost looked like it hadn't been lived in for days. As her curiosity grew, she proceeded to walk around the familiar space, one that she had walked many times. She walked through his living room, finding no sign of his being here. Walking up the steps to his bedroom, she saw the made-up bed, one that was neat and had the characteristics of never been slept in. She took a quick look in the bathroom, and saw the same result.  
  
As she began walking down the steps to his main living area, Mac almost had a heart attack at the sight in front of her.  
  
"Mac? What are you doing here?"  
  
Mac couldn't believe her eyes. "Harm? Are you ok?"  
  
Harm smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine. You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
Mac sighed, "Just about. Where have you been?"  
  
Harm didn't answer right away and walked over to one of his counter top chairs. He just shrugged his shoulders and crossed his arms, looking back at her in the most mysterious way. "You tell me."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Harm just smiled. "I was in a car accident, right?"  
  
"I don't understand ." Mac began to say, when Harm abruptly interrupted her.  
  
"I'm the image that you want to see. I'm only in your mind. And I think in a way, I'm here to make sure you're ok."  
  
Mac just shook her head and moved over to his couch. "This can't be, Harm. How can I be talking to you?"  
  
"Because you want to. This is a dream. And also, you're going to find out soon that I'm in coma. I also think I want to talk to you, too," Harm replied softly.  
  
This was all too strange for her. Mac knew it was all a dream, a figment of her imagination. Nothing could explain this, and she just needed to leave . "I have to go, I can't be here. Whatever this is, it's just me."  
  
As if by some sign, she suddenly found herself awaking, but not by her own attempts, but by someone shaking her.  
  
"Mac? The doctor's here," she heard Sturgis say. She slowly awoke to find Sturgis looking over her. "You ok?"  
  
Mac nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. What is it?"  
  
"The doctor is here to brief us."  
  
The Admiral was already talking to the doctor, and did not seem happy. Mac quickly stood up and walked over to the two men.  
  
". and that has been the real problem here, one we are not sure how will turn out." the doctor had been saying.  
  
Mac quickly jumped in, "Doctor?"  
  
"Commander Rabb suffered a concussion, some fractured ribs, a ruptured spleen. Because of the hit that he took to the head, there is swelling on the brain, causing him to fall into a coma," the doctor supplied for the second time.  
  
"How long will he be in the coma?" Sturgis asked. "There is no way for us to know that. Some people are in it for days, others weeks . others, years. There is one more thing you should know ." the doctor trailed off, not wanting to hurt them more, but knowing they needed to be told. Mac had begun to move away from the conversation, her mind whirling. Seeing the hesitation in the doctor's voice, the Admiral pressed, "Captain?? What else?" The doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out a bullet. Mac turned around then to see what she hadn't had time to fear yet. "We also found a bullet. Commander Rabb had been shot in the upper shoulder." At that, Mac walked away from the doctor completely and moved closer to the other side of the room. AJ just asked, "When can we see him?" "He still has some recovery time to go through. It'll probably be an hour or so. Maybe two. If you'll excuse me." At that, the doctor saluted the Admiral and Sturgis, and quickly and left. Mac could hardly believe what she was hearing. It was all going way too fast. She had keep tears at bay thus far feeling that she had to be strong, and knowing that once she saw Harm she would feel better. When he was lost in the ocean, it had been so hard for her to stay positive. Here she was again, in the same position in that her relationship with Harm hadn't really improved. So many things were still left unsaid. 


	3. The Loneliness of Lost Chances

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 3: The Loneliness of Lost Chances  
  
Bud and Harriet's car  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0530 EST  
  
Bud's car couldn't go fast enough. It was extremely early in the morning, and though he felt tired, the events happening around him wasn't going to allow him to get much sleep. Their new baby had been up all night, so the call from the Admiral had not interrupted sleep at all. Once the baby calmed down, Harriet decided it was best for her to stay with the baby and get some rest while Bud drove to the hospital to receive the first reports of Harm's condition.  
  
It had been so hard for Bud to deal with Harm's departure from the Navy, and everyday he had missed him. Harm was his mentor, a fellow officer, and, most importantly, his friend. Luckily, Harm had gotten himself back in the Navy eventually and it had seemed as if everything had gotten back on track. It even felt like most of the tension between Harm and Mac, Harm and the Admiral, between himself and Sturgis, had begun to resolve itself.  
  
Now he found himself driving as fast as he could to the hospital to see a very seriously injured Harm. After everything had seemed to have gotten back on track, how could have all of it gone out of control so quickly?  
  
OR Waiting Room, Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0600 EST  
  
The waiting had become more and more difficult for Sturgis, Mac, and the Admiral. Sturgis was on his third magazine, and each time it had gotten harder and harder to read the articles. The Admiral had been gone for most of the time, and was only in the waiting room for a short while. Mac had walked a little on her own, but presently was sitting a few seats away from Sturgis. She had even dozed off a few times, though Harm's presence had not entered her dreams this time. There was no explanation as to the reason why she was having visions of Harm in such a way. Right now she wished that those visions would reappear, or even more wish that Harm could talk to her. His condition had awakened many emotions and old feelings that she had tried so hard to suppress in Paraguay, believing that a relationship with Harm would never work. Little did she know how hard Harm would take it, or of her own reservations about her comments.  
  
Sturgis turned from his magazine to look at Mac. She had been alternating between sitting and standing all night. Her fatigue was quite apparent, but there was a strength in her eyes that Sturgis hadn't seen very often. Mac's marine training was not allowing her to fall asleep too long, and she wouldn't release the tension until she at least saw Harm. They were all tired, and the marathon waiting that had taken place thus far had taken a toll on all of them. Sturgis was finding it extremely difficult to stay awake himself, but he felt a need to stay awake as much as he could.  
  
Mac stood up again, and this time she walked quietly over to the water cooler and got herself a drink. The water was very refreshing and it woke her up a little. Sturgis watched her and felt a need to ask about Paraguay. Neither Harm nor Mac had been very forthcoming about the events that conspired during their time there, and they claimed it was classified. However, Sturgis knew that the adventure they had was only half the story. Unfortunately, he found himself many times in the middle of Harm and Mac's many confrontations. He would always believe that such distractions were unprofessional in the JAG office. However, he also understood the tension only because he talked to both of them about the subject. He felt he had an innate ability to sense where they were because both had a tendency to confide in him, and being around them during those times makes it easier to sense.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
Mac turned to look at Sturgis. "Yeah?"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
Walking over to him and sitting down next to him, she just shrugged. "I guess as good as I can be with my best friend in a coma."  
  
Sturgis nodded, and then remembered stories that he had been told about events such as these. "You've been through this before, haven't you?"  
  
"When Harm was lost at sea," Mac remembered. She then stood up once again, walking over to the other side of the room. "It was a tough time for me. For all of us."  
  
Sturgis pushed further. "You were supposed to get married, weren't you?"  
  
Mac nodded, leaning up against the far wall. Suddenly all of those events flooded back to her. It had taken her months to get over Mic leaving, Harm abandoning her, and only rarely did she think of it. "I was, yes. But there were complications."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Why are you asking so many questions?" Mac asked, openly irritated.  
  
Sturgis shrugged. "Just trying to get a picture of what happened. Wondering if there are any similarities to this."  
  
"Only that Harm gets himself in trouble often."  
  
"I've noticed that."  
  
Mac looked away from Sturgis, again pacing a bit. "It feels like it was ages ago. A lot has changed."  
  
"Anything you want to talk about?"  
  
Sighing, Mac moved over to the water cooler and filled her glass again. Talking about almost losing Harm at sea, Paraguay, and now the recent events all involve one important element; expressing her feelings for Harm. It was something that she had always been afraid to do, just as Harm obviously has been concerning her. That fear, however, has kept them apart. They both like to be in control during their relationships, and that fact has caused them to agree time and time again about a variety of subjects involving their own friendship. Compromise has been the only way to solve the problem, as well as realizing they truly respect and love each other.  
  
Mac finally answered. "Not really." She was never comfortable talking about it, not even with Harm. Sturgis, however, knows more than she may want, but he has been someone she felt she could talk to. He has kept her secret for quite some time concerning her true feelings for Harm.  
  
"I haven't had a chance to talk to Harm about the events in Paraguay, not that he would tell me."  
  
Mac smiled. "It's still classified."  
  
Sturgis nodded, "I know. But I don't think the case you two were following has anything to do with the real events that you two are hiding."  
  
"So much happened in Paraguay, Sturgis," Mac replied, content to say only that. Sturgis looked to his colleague, not entirely positive as to what he was sensing. Maybe sadness, maybe frustration, maybe anger. Whatever it was, she was determined to keep it to herself for awhile.  
  
They were then interrupted by an exhausted Bud, who had felt like he had been running for days to get to the hospital as quickly as he could. "How is he?!"  
  
"Not too good, Bud. But he made it through surgery," Mac replied.  
  
Bud nodded, looking around anxiously. "Where's the Admiral?"  
  
"He went for a walk," Sturgis commented.  
  
"But he's back," the Admiral replied, coming around the corner to the waiting room. Bud shook his hand, warm but nervous smiles under the current circumstances.  
  
There wasn't a lot of time for pleasantries, because the doctor suddenly appeared. "You can see Commander Rabb now, if you'd like."  
  
Mac, Sturgis and Bud hurried past the doctor to Rabb's room, but the Admiral stayed behind to shake the doctor's hand. "Thanks."  
  
Harm's OR Recovery Room, Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
0610 EST  
  
Mac, followed by Sturgis, then Bud, walked into the room to where Harm was recovering. He seemed to have a dozen tubes coming from him to various machines. It was a sight that Mac was not used to, and happy that she would never be. No one spoke as each continued to walk towards the patient, each taking a position around him. Bud was on his left, Sturgis at his foot, and Mac strayed to his right. It didn't take long for her to grab a hold of his hand, squeeze it, and hope that he would squeeze back.  
  
The doctor showed up behind them, looking at his patient. "Some of the swelling to his brain has started to go down. However, as far as we can tell, no brain-damage. We've intibated him, helping him breathe for the moment. We're hoping to take him off the respirator soon."  
  
"How soon?" Sturgis inquired.  
  
"Within a couple of days."  
  
Sturgis nodded, turning to look back at Harm. He looked extremely lifeless, as if those machines alone were keeping him alive and nothing else. Sturgis watched as Mac grabbed a chair and sat next to her partner. She continued to hold his hand, determined to keep her gaze on his face. Mac smiled at Harm, squeezing his hand tighter as she began to speak, "Hey, Harm. We're all here for you."  
  
Bud then looked to the doctor, "Can he hear us, doctor?"  
  
The doctor nodded, "There has been some indication that coma victims can."  
  
Sturgis walked up beside Mac, gazing down at Harm himself. All of this would take days for them to get used to, Sturgis knew. Everything seemed so surreal at the moment, making it difficult to absorb the sight in front of him. After all that Harm had gone through this year, from being arrested for murder to losing his job in the Navy, one would think that he had gone through his share of hard times.  
  
The Admiral looked to the doctor, "Thank you."  
  
"Take your time." With that, the doctor left, leaving the four of them alone with their friend. The Admiral walked up to the foot of the bed to look at Harm, who continued to remain motionless. What was most surprising was the lack of motion among everyone else. The understanding of these events had finally caught up with them.  
  
Sturgis was the first to move, looking over to the Admiral, "I think I should go to the office for awhile." There wasn't much more to be done, and Sturgis felt a need to go and do some work to get his mind away from these events. It had been overwhelming already, and diving into his work would be a short escape. He also knew that Mac needed time with Harm, by herself.  
  
AJ nodded, and motioned for him to walk to the other side of the room with him. Sturgis followed, anxious to hear what the Admiral would say. "That's a good idea. I'm giving you point for the investigation. I want an objective look at this, Commander."  
  
Sturgis nodded, "Yes, sir. What about the Colonel?"  
  
AJ glanced over at her, continuing to hang on to the Commander's hand while she talked with Bud. "I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know." The Admiral had decided to keep Mac out of it, but he was having second thoughts. No matter what he ordered, he had a feeling Mac was going to find herself amidst the investigation. It would be difficult for her to stay away.  
  
"Aye, aye, sir." With that, Sturgis left.  
  
Mac looked to see him leave, glancing to the Admiral. "Why did Commander Turner leave, sir?"  
  
Walking over to the Colonel, the Admiral replied, "He wanted to go to the office for awhile."  
  
Mac nodded, glancing again at Harm. Why did this all have to happen now? It had taken them months to be at good terms with each other. Why did so much get in the way? She felt helpless, unable to find any way to help the situation. All there was for her to do was sit next to her best friend, something that she intended to do for quite some time. Maybe she would leave eventually, but felt she was needed here the most.  
  
As the first hour passed, and soon the second, Mac didn't move at all, while Bud found himself a chair to sit in, had gotten some coffee for everyone, and stared off into space. The Admiral had paced some, sat down, and paced some more. Bud found himself needing to leave, too, only because he wanted to make sure Harriet was ok. He also knew cases were in need of his attention, and strived for the same solitude in them that Sturgis had searched for hours earlier. He spoke to the Admiral quickly and left.  
  
The third hour came and went, and the Admiral knew it was time for him to leave, as well. It was now 0900, and he too needed to go home, take a shower, and get to work. He was the Judge Advocate General, and many things needed his attention today. He walked over to the Colonial, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow." Mac finally gazed away from Harm to look up at the Admiral, who gave her a nod and left. Mac just watched him leave, now realizing she was alone. 


	4. Reasons

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 4: Reasons  
  
Harm's Recovery Room  
  
Hospital, Washington D.C.  
  
1200 EST  
  
It didn't take long for Mac to fall asleep. The night had been long and emotionally draining, and her body urged her to slumber. Though the previous times had left her in a dreamless sleep, this time was by far different. The familiar view of Harm's apartment came into view, and she found herself at the top of his short stairs. Walking down into his kitchen, the first stimulant was to her nose in the common smell of salmon. Harm loved salmon, and considering he didn't eat any red meat, he made it a point to know how to cook salmon twelve different ways. This time it smelled Cajun. She smiled as Harm came into view, seeing him cooking and happy. It was something he loved to do and found enjoyment in.  
  
"I see nothing changes, not even in the unconscious," Mac said, stepping closer to him.  
  
Harm looked up, giving her a wry smile. "Hey, there's not much to do. Where did you go, anyway?"  
  
Mac sat down on the bar stool across from him at the island in the middle of his kitchen. "Harm, this is absurd. Whether it's you or me, or both, we're dreaming."  
  
"Dreaming about me isn't new to you, is it?"  
  
"I think we're in your dream," Mac retorted.  
  
Harm just smiled, continuing to work with his meal. "So what have you found out?"  
  
Mac shook her head, "Not much. You're seriously injured, Harm. How you ended up this way is still a mystery. Do you remember anything?"  
  
"No," came Harm's simple response.  
  
"Are you sure, Harm? Because anything would ." before she could finish, Harm interrupted her briskly.  
  
"I told you, Mac, I don't remember anything. Can we just eat?"  
  
Mac didn't realize how far along Harm was with the meal. "Sure."  
  
Harm set the food on the already set table. Must be Harm had been expecting her, because the table was effectively set for two. This had all gotten more and more interesting by the minute.  
  
Mac went over to sit at the table as Harm put his apron away and sat next to her. The food did smell good, and Mac was finding it difficult to remember that this was all just a dream. Harm and Mac began to eat in silence. It didn't take long for Harm to break the silence, however, feeling a need to talk to Mac as much as he could. "How am I doing?"  
  
"Okay," Mac answered, choosing not to look him directly in the eyes.  
  
Harm shook his head. "That bad, huh?"  
  
"No, really, you're ." Mac began, but was interrupted quickly by Harm.  
  
"I know that look. It's ok. I want you to tell me the truth."  
  
At that Mac looked up at him. "You're still in a coma, had some internal bleeding. And you were shot." Mac looked up at him with that last statement, expecting to see surprise, but he just merely nodded. Now Mac was convinced that he knew more than he was letting on.  
  
Harm looked down at his food, feeling a small sadness come over him. What were the chances that he wouldn't make it? Why was here? Was the dreaming a way for him to say goodbye? Is that what this is all for? To make amends? Not just through Mac to other people, but to Mac herself? Was he ready to do that?  
  
"You okay?" came the concerned voice beside him.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Harm lied, not sure what to make of his feelings. He also did not feel comfortable talking to Mac right now about personal issues. Ever since Paraguay, it had become increasingly hard to confide in her. At one time, he went to her about every little detail of his life, which explains why she knows him so well. But now, when his life is in trouble, he stills sees the woman who broke his heart and chose another man over him. "Why aren't you with your precious Webb?" Harm asked, feeling a need to change the attention from him to Mac.  
  
Mac just shook her head at his comment, ignoring it as she did every other one. She, too, had been unable to confide in Harm about much lately, despite the decent state of their friendship. Since she rarely talked to him, Harm didn't know that the relationship between Mac and Webb never took place. It never got off the ground because of her unwillingness to trust Webb, and though she felt Harm probably had a right to know, his attitude kept her from supplying him the information. If his stubbornness continues, she will refuse to tell him and let him think what he wants.  
  
"How is your relationship going, anyway? Married yet?" Harm asked roughly, pressing the issue further.  
  
Mac sighed. "Why can't you remember what happened to you?"  
  
"Why are you avoiding the question?"  
  
"Stop avoiding mine!" Mac stated firmly.  
  
Harm smirked. "Trouble in paradise, I see." He took another bit of his salmon, then stood up to go to the refrigerator.  
  
"Still think you know everything, don't you?"  
  
Harm shrugged, grabbing wine out of the refrigerator. "Because I usually do."  
  
"Then why can't you tell me about the accident?"  
  
"Why can't you tell me about Webb?" Harm shot back.  
  
Mac threw her napkin to the floor and stood up. "For once in your life, Harm, stop avoiding the issues. Stop blaming everyone else but yourself. Get your head out of your six and realize you didn't win me in Paraguay. Realize why you have so much trouble with women. Why can't you state your feelings, Harm? You were so angry with me in Paraguay because I didn't want a relationship, but the fact is you never asked. You stopped short when it mattered. You saved my life, wonderful. I thank you. There was something else there, Harm, something was driving you. And when you can tell me what it is, and get off the top, let me know. Maybe I'll be in the mood to listen."  
  
With that, Mac proceeded towards the door and opened it. However, Harm was there and stopped her quickly. He looked at her, feeling a pang of guilt and frustration. So many emotions were running through them right now. The truth was he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, be with him. He had missed her, missed talking to her, confiding in her, eating dinner with her. His need for her had not changed. Harm held Mac's gaze, and replied, "Don't leave."  
  
"Give me a reason to stay."  
  
Harm looked down, trying to think of a way to answer. He wanted to say because he loved her, he needed her, that he was scared, but none of that wanted to come out. Instead he just sighed, wishing that he could just show his cards without being scared, without being worried that showing them would cost him her friendship. He decided it best to just say what he could. "Because I miss you."  
  
Before Mac could react, her mind was urging her awake. No matter how much she wanted to fight it, the dream was beginning to fall away. The last thing she saw as her mind drifted was Harm's worried face.  
  
Harm's Recovery Room, Hospital  
  
Washington  
  
10:00 PM EST  
  
Mac suddenly realized she was awake. Her head had been resting on a pillow, and already her neck was screaming with pain. Eyes shifting around the room, she inevitably saw the same sight she had seen all day. Looking at her watch, she suddenly realized that she had been asleep for quite some time. Despite the amount of sleep, she was still quite exhausted. So exhausted that she didn't realize that someone else was in the room.  
  
"Ma'am?" came the concerned response. Immediately, she knew who it was.  
  
"Harriet," she replied, turning to look at the other woman. She was dressed warmly, as if she had just walked in. That made Mac feel a little better that she hadn't slept through Harriet's entire visit. Smiling, Mac finally stood up after sitting for hours on end next to her beloved partner. Harriet watched her, seeing the wear of a long night and the worries of a friend. There wasn't much she could say.  
  
"Maybe you should go home and get some rest, Ma'am," Harriet offered. The suggestion was tempting, but Mac didn't feel right leaving Harm. Even after the dream-like fight she had just had, it had proven that Harm still cared deeply for her, as she did for him.  
  
Mac knew, however, that she needed to get away from the hospital. It was beginning to consume her, and leaving for awhile was the best solution. She bent down close to Harm, kissed him tenderly on the cheek, and stood back up. He looked very weak, and Mac was going to be strong for him. She moved away from him towards Harriet, who couldn't hide her concern for either the Commander of the Colonel. Both needed comforting.  
  
Continuing to the door, Mac looked back to Harriet, who had not moved. "Will you walk with me to my car?"  
  
Harriet nodded, "Of course, ma'am. Sorry."  
  
With that, they left.  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Georgetown  
  
11:00 PM EST  
  
The apartment was in the same state as Mac had left it. Her bed sheets were all awry from her quick departure, as were clothes all thrown throughout her bedroom. It didn't take long for Mac to move to the bathroom to take a long shower, the water beating away at her back at a massaging rhythm. She concentrated solely on the water and it's soothing affect that it had on her. It almost allowed her to forget everything of the past day. She could even almost feel Harm there, with her, arms encircling her, being with her as she so often felt she needed and never received. Her longing for him increased, though she knew current circumstances were heightening that need.  
  
After the shower, Mac made herself cocoa, feeling the comfort of the chocolate reaching throughout her entire body. She set one of her more comforting chairs beside a window and, taking a blanket, wrapped herself in it, content on gazing at the endless stars in the clear, cold night. Her mind and body would not find the rest it needed tonight. The concern she had for her friend, the need to be with him, and the undying worry for his life allowed insomnia to take hold of her. Mac was alone in that long, unforgettable night, her thoughts never leaving Harm, waiting patiently for dawn to approach. 


	5. The Determination of a Marine

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 5: The Determination of a Marine  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
The next day - Wednesday, December 3, 2003  
  
0800 EST  
  
Petty Officer Jennifer Coates found herself already extremely busy, and the day had not even really begun. She came into work early today wanting to get some work done before the Admiral came in, but she was on the phone all morning still fielding calls about Commander Rabb's condition. Not sure of what to say, she just took messages, and figured the Admiral would call the people back if he felt they needed to know. In the meantime, she was worried about the Commander herself, but kept her concerns to herself the day before, as she would today. Everyone had eventually made it to the office yesterday except Colonel Mackenzie. Coates knew that the Colonel was where she needed to be.  
  
Coates carried some files into the Admiral's office, thinking about the Colonel when the Admiral walked in. "Petty Officer."  
  
"Sir, good morning, sir. The SecNav sent some files over for you," Coates said.  
  
The Admiral took them, looked through them quickly, and then placed them on his desk. He removed his coat and placed it on the back of his chair. "The Colonel come in yet?"  
  
"No, sir."  
  
"When she does, let her know I want to see her ASAP."  
  
Coates came to attention. "Yes, sir! One more thing, sir, I've been fielding calls all morning about Commander Rabb's condition ."  
  
"Classified, Petty Officer."  
  
"Aye, aye, sir!" Coates left quickly, wanting to see if Mac had gotten into the office.  
  
The JAG office felt comfortable as Mac walked swiftly through the halls. She didn't get any sleep last night, but to be honest she didn't notice. Part of her was insistent on getting back to work, and most importantly to solve Harm's case. Mac knew she wasn't assigned to it, but her need to find the assailant overwhelmed her. If she couldn't help Harm get better, then she would catch the guy that hurt him. It was revenge now, and Marines don't take such a concept lightly.  
  
Walking briskly into her office, she set her briefcase down on her desk and took off her coat. It didn't take long for Bud to notice her arrival and come in and see her. "Ma'am?"  
  
Mac looked up at her friend. "Hi, Bud."  
  
"How is he?"  
  
Sitting down at her desk, Mac didn't want to look at Bud and instead concentrated on getting her computer up and running. "Same."  
  
Bud nodded. He was again lost for words, and decided to offer what he could. "Do you need anything, Ma'am?"  
  
Mac shook her head. "No, Bud, I'm fine." She then looked up at him, stressing her point further.  
  
Bud nodded. "Have a good day, Ma'am." Bud began to leave.  
  
Mac, however, felt a need to stop him. He was only trying to help, knowing that it was tough for her. She shouldn't be taking it out on him. "Actually, Bud ." Mac started to say, and Bud turned right back around. "Yes?" "I could use a cup of coffee," Mac supplied, seeing the expression of Bud's face turn from frustration to contentment. Bud smiled. "Right away, Colonel." Just as Bud left, Coates came walking in. "Ma'am, the Admiral requests to see you ASAP." "Thanks." Colonel Mackenzie left to see what the Admiral might want.  
  
A knock came at the Admiral's door, and AJ swiftly answered. "Enter." Colonel Mackenzie opened the door and began to walk in. "Close the door, Colonel." Mac nodded, turned quickly to close the door, then returned to a spot in front of her CO's desk. "You requested me, sir." The Admiral nodded. "Yes, I did. How's the Commander doing?" Mac knew she would be fielding this question all day and she was content to answer the same each time. "The same, sir." "Right now, that's a good thing. It could be worse," the Admiral offered, in his own way trying to reassure his junior officer. He did consider the Colonel a friend, and knew any comforting words would be helpful. "That is true, sir," Mac acknowledged. However, right now she was already tired of talking about Harm's physical condition and was more interested in finding the assailant. Harm was in a coma, and talking about it was not something high on her list. If at all possible she wanted to push that fact aside and get to work. She only hoped that the Admiral would understand, as she hoped her friends and colleagues would. The Admiral knew this Mac. It was the Mac who kept to herself, who was determined, and who didn't falter. When she was like this, it was difficult to guess what she was feeling or thinking. Her Marine training took front stage. "I'll get to the point, Colonel. I've decided to let you help out with the case." Mac couldn't help but smile. "Yes, sir." The Admiral countered, "But you will neither prosecute or defend. You are only a source of knowledge for Commander Turner and Lt. Roberts. You know Commander Rabb better than any of us. You will help them, but you are not in command of this investigation. Do I make myself clear, Colonel?"  
  
"Yes, sir," Mac replied, knowing that she did have to be careful. But not too careful. As far as she was concerned, the case had become personal. Because of that she wasn't going to be leading the investigation. However, she would be at the center of it, and she would find the assailant.  
  
"I'm putting faith in you, Colonel. Do not take matters into your own hands. This is a JAG investigation, and I expect you to handle it professionally. Dismissed."  
  
Mac came to attention. "Aye, aye, sir!"  
  
Leaving the Admiral's office, Mac proceeded directly to Commander Turner's office.  
  
Sturgis entered his office, getting himself settled. It had been a long couple of days, and already Harm's case was at the top of JAG importance. He and Bud had gone to the crash site, but everything was cleaned up and not much was left for them to investigate. A gun was found at the site, but not much else. Everything still seemed very knew and it would take him some time to begin the investigation. The matter had already caught the attention of the SecNav, and whatever Harm was involved in was going to be revealed soon.  
  
"Sturgis?"  
  
Commander Turner looked up from the files that he had been reading to see Mac looking into his office. "Colonel. How's Harm doing?"  
  
Mac shook her head. "He's the same. You have no idea how many people have asked me that question today."  
  
Sturgis shrugged. "Well, if anyone knew, it would be you."  
  
Mac sighed. "Why is that?"  
  
Commander Turner put his files down and moved to his file cabinet. "Because you two are so close. Didn't we have this conversation in the hospital?"  
  
Mac nodded, finally sitting down in the chair across from Sturgis' desk. "Yeah, something like it. My answer remains the same. It's classified."  
  
Sturgis smiled back, sitting down at his own desk and proceeding to look through his files. "I know that all too well. So what can I do for you, Mac?"  
  
"You and I are working together."  
  
Sturgis then looked up from his file. "On what case?"  
  
"Commander Rabb's," Mac replied.  
  
Smiling, Sturgis stood up and walked to the front of his desk to talk to Mac. "How did you pull that off?"  
  
Mac smiled again. "I have my ways. So, should we start at Harm's apartment? I assume you've already been at the crime scene."  
  
Sturgis just stared at Mac, now even more unsure of what was happening since this started. He had thought the Admiral had decided to not include Mac, but it seems he has changed his mind. Mac portrayed a definite confidence in how she looked, dressed, walked, and Sturgis knew he hadn't seen this in Mac at such a height in awhile. The day before she was a wreck, and now she almost acted as if nothing happened.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Mac countered, "Listen, I don't want to take this investigation away from you or Bud. The Admiral made it clear that I needed to keep at a safe distance, but still help. I can help."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Ok, let's go."  
  
Harm's Apartment  
  
North of Union Station  
  
1000 EST  
  
Mac and Sturgis walked up to Harm's apartment door. Bud stayed behind at JAG headquarters to do some research on Harm's outgoing calls, past case files, among other things. Mac didn't know what she would find, but knew it would give them some clues as to what Harm had been involved in. Her recent dreams quickly reminded her of this atmosphere, of Harm's apartment. However, something seemed different. She couldn't place her finger on it, but she knew they were going to find something in Harm's apartment.  
  
Sturgis took out the spare key he had for the apartment and opened the door. When they walked in, the surprise was almost unbelievable. Mac slowly removed her Marine hat and began walking around the apartment. The site in front of her was shocking, but added a huge piece of the puzzle. Harm's apartment was a mess. Not just a mess, but trashed in a way that indicated a fight had certainly taken place here. Chairs were turned over, papers were thrown, furniture torn apart and everywhere. The case was becoming more interesting by the minute.  
  
Sturgis was the first to speak. "I didn't expect this."  
  
Mac smiled to herself. Who ever does? "Probably should call NCIS."  
  
Sturgis nodded and took out his cell phone to make the call. This was indeed proving to not be just an accident. The gun at the scene had begun those suspicions, and now Harm's apartment made it quite clear. As Mac walked around the apartment, she tuned her eyesight for clues. Anything that might help their investigation. She knew they couldn't remove anything from the apartment because it was up to the NCIS to do that, but she also knew she had to get a sense of the apartment on her own before anything would be touched. It was a rare opportunity to get a chance to see a crime scene first before police invaded it.  
  
After calling the NCIS office, Sturgis looked to Mac. "Anything yet?"  
  
Mac shook her head. "No."  
  
In the moment she said this something broke her view. Looking down on the kitchen floor she saw the one thing she didn't wish to see: blood. Of course, it was to be expected, Mac thought. Harm was seriously injured, whether by the car crash or in the midst of a fight, and possibly Harm injured someone else in self-defense. However, something else entered Mac's thoughts. Harm could've been shot in his own apartment first, and then escaped. She had just assumed he was shot as he was driving.  
  
Staring at the spot of blood, Mac called to Sturgis. "Take a look at this."  
  
Hurrying over, Sturgis quickly got a look himself. "A lot happened here."  
  
"Yeah," Mac replied, stepping away from the blood and continuing to look around the apartment. The last time Harm was involved in something questionable was when he bought information from a Russian Colonel. That had been years before, but the idea was the same. Harm has the capacity, but usually it's for a reason. Mac knows Harm extremely well, and knows that any operations he may have been running or involved in she would know about. However, the rules had changed lately because of their strained friendship, so perhaps something had been going on. It had been when Harm bought the information about his father. She knows Harm, but perhaps not as well as she had thought.  
  
"Mac."  
  
Turning to look at Sturgis, Mac immediately saw the worry on his face grow more intense. He had gone into Harm's bedroom and was observing something on his bed. Mac hurried up his short stairs to see Sturgis looking at a clump of papers sprawled over the blue bedspread. Mac stepped up beside her colleague to look. "A case he was working on?"  
  
"Medical documents. Phone records," Sturgis began to say as he picked up one of the folders. Looking inside, he saw reports from the apparent case that Harm was working on. A Commander Murphy who had gone UA. However, Sturgis remembered talking to Harm about that case being over. Harm had finished it weeks ago. So the question was why Harm was still working on a case that had been over for quite some time.  
  
Mac looked at the case over his shoulder. "What case is it?"  
  
"The Commander Murphy UA case."  
  
Mac had also heard Harm talk about this case for quite some time. "Didn't he finish that case some time ago?"  
  
Sturgis nodded. "Yeah."  
  
Continuing to walk around his bedroom and into his bathroom, Mac became more and more worried about Harm. Maybe he was doing something illegal. Motive for it was still not apparent, however. Certainly Mac hadn't been as close to Harm as usual, but they were still close, and Mac still knew Harm really well. That would never change. She also knew of his need to help people, even if the capacity for doing so might involve him stretching his limits a bit.  
  
Suddenly her phone rang, breaking her concentration. Mac answered it. "Colonel Mackenzie."  
  
"Ma'am?" It was Bud. "I found something you might want to know."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Bud replied, "Well, I was checking Harm's phone records and he made a lot of calls to a Commander Murphy. Does that name mean anything to you or the Commander?"  
  
Mac sighed. "Yeah, it does, Bud. Good work. We'll be back at JAG shortly."  
  
"Aye, aye, Ma'am." The phone went silent. Mac hung up, and looked to Sturgis. He was already back in the main room checking around the broken and thrown furniture. Mac walked swiftly towards him as he seemed concentrated on observing the scene, walking around it slowly.  
  
"Bud found something," Mac said.  
  
Sturgis didn't look. "What?"  
  
"Harm was making calls to Murphy."  
  
Sturgis nodded, but continued to look at the scene. Mac became more interested into what he was looking at. Before she could say anything, Sturgis answered her question. "Someone was tied up here. There's rope, and a wooden chair. The chair legs are broken, possibly indicating someone used it as a weapon." Mac couldn't believe what she was seeing. The whole episode had been hard to grasp from the beginning, but now seeing Harm's apartment in this way made it really hit home for her.  
  
"The NCIS will be coming soon. They'll be able to help us differentiate even further," Mac noted. So they would wait and hope that more answers were to come soon. 


	6. Unconscious Wishes

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 6: Unconscious wishes  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
400 EST  
  
Bud had retained quite a bit of information. It had been an all day project, but needed. Phone records and past cases showed much more than anyone would think. First off, Harm had been calling Commander Murphy quite a bit in the past two weeks. In fact, more than he had called him during Murphy's trial. Knowing this, it led Bud to start investigating Harm's past case. So far, however, not much had been revealed to him, only that the case had long been solved. The only available files to him at the moment were the case transcripts. The case files had not been given to him yet. In fact, he was curious as to why it was taking so long.  
  
Petty Officer Coates suddenly walked into his view. Immediately Bud felt a need to inquire why he hadn't gotten the files yet. "Petty Officer!"  
  
Coates quickly stopped and turned to look at him. "Sir?"  
  
Bud walked up to her. "Have you been able to get the files to the Murphy UA case that Commander Rabb was working on?"  
  
Coates shook her head. "Still working on it, sir. I checked JAG records and Commander Rabb's file cabinet in his office and didn't find it."  
  
"You went into Commander Rabb's office?"  
  
"The Admiral gave me permission, sir."  
  
Bud nodded, sitting down in a chair near him in the bullpen. "I don't understand why we can't find it."  
  
"There is a record of it on the computer, sir, but nothing past that."  
  
"Thanks, Jennifer."  
  
Coates smiled. Then she became somewhat serious. "So what does all this mean for the Commander?"  
  
Bud stood up again and moved to his office. Coates followed, waiting for an answer. Sitting down at his desk, Bud looked at the massive amount of files and records on his desk pertaining to his endless search for answers. "I don't know. It can't be good."  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Georgetown  
  
2100 EST  
  
Mac, Sturgis, and Bud had been at it for hours. The investigation had become much more complicated. They had looked endlessly through the files that Harm had in his apartment, as well as the initial reports from the NCIS. Certainly a fight had taken place in the apartment, but why the fight had taken place and what had driven Harm out of the apartment was still quite a mystery. On top of that, where was he going? It brought issues in as to what he might have known. What was Harm hiding? What was Murphy hiding for that matter? All of these questions begged to be answered.  
  
"Ok, let's look at the case one more time," Mac replied, picking up the papers to go over it once again. She felt she had been looking at them for days.  
  
Sturgis sighed. "Okay, one more time. Murphy was charged with UA."  
  
Mac nodded. "Right, he suffered a loss of pay and was suspended because he was only gone for a few days."  
  
Bud looked at them both. "He went UA because . "  
  
Sturgis jumped in. "The files had said family issues, which is probably how Harm got the lesser sentence."  
  
"Why would the case be gone from JAG records? I don't see the significance to do such a thing," Bud said.  
  
Mac stood up from the couch and started to pace slowly. "The question comes back to why Murphy went UA. It says family issues, but it could've been much more. It would explain why Harm became more involved after the case was finished."  
  
Sturgis shook his head. "Maybe, but why would Harm erase it from records?"  
  
"Who said he did? Anyone could have done that."  
  
Bud leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. "That's dangerously close to crossing the "conspiracy" line, ma'am."  
  
"Why not? We're stumped as to why Harm would do all that he did. This proves that he knew more than he should have. Because of that, he got himself in trouble," Mac explained.  
  
Sturgis chimed in again. "So what was Murphy really involved in?"  
  
Mac nodded. "That's what we have to find out."  
  
Bud sighed, shifting ahead in his chair and beginning to pack the files away. "I think it's something we need to start tomorrow."  
  
"I agree. I'm too tired to think clearly at the moment. We can start fresh tomorrow," Sturgis countered.  
  
Mac grabbed the files angrily from Bud. "We can't stop. Harm needs us to get this. We're close."  
  
Sturgis then stood up to face Mac. "Colonel, we can't do any more tonight. Tomorrow we will have places to go, people to question."  
  
Mac didn't want to hear that, didn't want to stop. She needed to solve this case and she wouldn't stop until she did. "Harm wouldn't stop if one of us was in trouble."  
  
"Ma'am, it's 2100. I have to get home. It's late," Bud replied.  
  
Sturgis nodded. "Mac, even if we continued tonight, I don't think we could get past where we are right now without talking to witnesses. We haven't done that yet. We may be close, but we still have a ways to go. You know that."  
  
Mac did know that. But it was frustrating. All of the passion she had right now was being channeled into this case, because she couldn't release the passion where she wanted. That was ok, though, for her. She needed to feel that passion to move on with this case without getting too emotional as to why she was working so hard at it all in the first place. However, it was still difficult for her to separate the two.  
  
She finally gave the files back to Bud and walked to the door. "You're right. I'll let you guys go," she said with a little smile.  
  
Sturgis smiled lightly back. "Mac, we'll get them. I promise you, all right?"  
  
With that, Bud and Sturgis left.  
  
Mac couldn't believe that she had acted that way. Sturgis had been right. She knew what needed to be done, and knew that no matter how much she wanted to get all of it done tonight, she couldn't. It was neither physically or emotionally possible for her, or for any of them. The day had been long with the non-stop investigation of this case. It had taken clear priority over the other cases they had on their plates, so the need to solve it quickly was strong.  
  
Moving over to the couch, Mac stretched out on it. She wasn't exactly sleepy, but she was exhausted at the same time. However, before she knew it, she was fast asleep.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Mac, awaking from her slumber, realized then that she had fallen asleep on the couch. Raising herself up off the couch, she walked quietly over to the door and opened it.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Mac smiled to herself. She now knew what was going on.  
  
"Hey Harm."  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
Mac nodded. "Sure." Harm walked quietly in and Mac closed the door. "Why are you over here? I thought our dreams were taking place in your apartment," Mac replied sarcastically, still unbelieving of the whole thing.  
  
Harm turned to her. "They were. I think it has something to do with the state of my apartment right now . I don't think you want to be in it."  
  
His apartment had looked pretty bad, Mac thought. Harm moved over to her couch and sat down heavily. He looked just as tired as she had felt. The coma must finally be having an affect on him "How are you feeling?" Mac finally asked. She then moved over to the couch to sit next to him.  
  
Harm shrugged. "As good as I can be, I guess."  
  
Mac leaned back against the couch, and, without looking at him, asked, "Did you really miss me?"  
  
Harm didn't look back at her, either. "Yeah."  
  
The silence after that was almost unbearable. Neither wanted to say anything, neither wanted to chance messing up what had just been revealed. It may be small, but Harm admitting that made Mac believe that their friendship might be ok. It may have survived something huge, and it's still beating.  
  
"I missed you, too," Mac offered. She knew she needed to say it back, knew it needed to be said. She needed to forget everything that was preventing her from saying these things to him, and just say them.  
  
Harm then looked to her. "How are you doing? You look tired."  
  
"As good as I can be." Harm smiled at her. "Harm, you don't look good." Mac knew he was exhausted. Something was weighing him down. Something was making it difficult for him to be here.  
  
"I've been worse."  
  
Mac nodded, wishing that she could make it better for him. There was a way she could make him feel a little better, though. She moved all the way to the end of the couch and placed a pillow in her lap. She looked to him and patted the pillow. "Lay down, Harm. Rest. You might feel better."  
  
Harm looked to her. "No, it's ok. I just need to drink some coffee or something ."  
  
But Mac didn't let him finish. "Commander, lay your head down here. Let's just rest together tonight."  
  
Harm didn't want to argue. In fact, he had dreamed of this. He had always wanted Mac to just hold him all night long. Whether it was emotionally or physically. This time it would be a little of both. He felt horrible that he couldn't help her, couldn't be there for her, couldn't give her any of the information that she had asked for. And physically he just wasn't feeling well. Even in his own dream his body felt like he was in a coma.  
  
Releasing himself to her, he stretched himself out on the couch and placed his head on the pillow in her lap. He rested his hand on her leg, in his own way wanting to comfort her. Mac smiled faintly, happy that he was letting himself rest. She started running her hands through his hair and down his neck. Harm just closed his eyes, feeling her massaging all of the worry from his mind. He was forgetting that he was in serious physical condition and instead let himself drift into what would be left of this dream. Because it was indeed a dream, no matter how much he wished it was real.  
  
Mac heard him groan pleasantly, and she continued to comfort him. This was something that she always wanted to do. To show him how well they can comfort each other in times of need. They did so as friends, certainly, but what was happening now was more intimate than they had been in a long time. Or ever, for that matter. Mac felt him lightly running his hand across her leg, wanting to return the same comfort. In minutes, Harm was fast asleep. His breathing had become shallow as Mac continued to run her fingers lazily through his hair and down his neck, feeling his skin tingle underneath her touch.  
  
Mac then felt a need to tell him. A need to say something to him that she had been wanting to say ever since Paraguay. She bent down low to his ear and whispered, "I'm sorry for hurting you, Harm." She didn't know if he heard her or not, but in response he nuzzled himself even more against her. She placed a small kiss on his neck and then wrapped her arms around him. She soon fell asleep.  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Georgetown  
  
0700 - The next day  
  
The sun shined brightly into the room. So brightly that instantly Mac knew that she was not sleeping in her room. Her eyes slowly opened and she realized then that there was no Harm. Again she had been caught up in her dreams, and they were becoming more real by the minute. They were becoming so much more harder to separate. Harm's presence in her dreams had reawakened her need for him, and waking up from one was torture. She wished so much that Harm was well and that she could feel him for real. It almost didn't matter if they ended up as just friends, as long as Harm was okay.  
  
Getting up slowly, she moved quietly throughout her apartment to get herself ready for work. 


	7. Lies of Comfort

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 7: Lies of Comfort  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
0900 EST - December 4th, 2003  
  
Sturgis was on his second cup of coffee already this morning. He felt terrible about how he had treated Mac the night before, and he found himself in the office early trying to work more on the case. Granted, he knew he had a point. Nothing more could have been done last night. However, Harm would do all that he could for any one of them if they were in his situation. Knowing this brought him to the office early this morning. Sitting down at his desk, Petty Officer Coates came striding in.  
  
"Here is the family history of Commander Murphy, sir."  
  
Sturgis looked up at her. "Thank you, Petty Officer. I didn't think you would get it this quickly."  
  
Coates smiled. "I want to find the . person who did this to Commander Rabb, sir." She had to fight to not call that person something more inappropriate in front of an officer.  
  
"I understand your frustration, Coates. Dismissed."  
  
"Aye, aye, sir!" Coates quickly left.  
  
Murphy's Residence  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
1100 EST  
  
The residence looked normal from the outside. Just like any other house on the street. What was on the inside was most important. Commander Murphy was hiding something, and Commander Turner was determined to find out what it was. However, he knew he had to keep an open mind. He didn't want to show his hand too early to Murphy, and he had to be make sure Mac would hold off, too. "Colonel, I trust you will keep your feelings at bay?"  
  
"What makes you think I won't?" Mac asked as they walked down the sidewalk towards the front door.  
  
Both had forgotten that Bud was also with them. "Well, because ." Bud began to answer, but held back when Mac shot him an angry look. "Ma'am, I don't know why Commander Turner would think that."  
  
Sturgis rolled his eyes, looking to see a wry smile on Mac's face. "It's 2 to 1, Sturgis," Mac commented with a grin.  
  
Stopping in front of the door, Sturgis rang the doorbell. "That's fine, as long as you understand that I'm right."  
  
"We'll see."  
  
The door then opened, breaking up their conversation.  
  
"Yes? May I help you?" a man on the other end asked.  
  
Mac immediately noticed his clean-shaven look. He was slightly older, portrayed a proud look, but seemed worse for the wear. "Yes, we're looking for a Commander Murphy."  
  
The man grimaced. "Can I ask who's looking for him?"  
  
Sturgis nodded. "I'm Commander Turner, this is Lt. Colonel Mackenzie, and this is Lt. Roberts. We're from the JAG corp."  
  
"Navy lawyers?"  
  
Mac smiled. "Not all of us. I'm a Marine."  
  
The man looked them over quickly, and then opened the door widely. "I'm Commander Nathan Murphy. Come in," came his short response.  
  
The three lawyers walked in looking around at the very noticeable mess lingering throughout the house. "Sorry for the mess," came Murphy's response, seeming to know their first impression. "My son's been sick. My wife is out of town."  
  
Bud smiled, "I understand that, sir."  
  
Murphy shot him a look. "You married, Lt.?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Murphy smiled. "Good for you. Hold onto it." He then walked into the adjacent living room, the three of them following closely. "Sit down." He motioned to the couch and chair across from him as he sat down in a comfortable chair, a coffee table separating them. Sturgis and Mac sat on the couch, and Bud moved to the other chair. "I thought I was done with Navy lawyers for the rest of my life."  
  
Mac nodded, "Well, not quite. So you did have a JAG lawyer represent you?"  
  
"Yup, yup. A Commander .. Rad? . Rob? . Rabb?" Murphy struggled, trying to remember.  
  
Bud looked to him. "It wasn't that long ago, sir."  
  
"No, not long enough."  
  
"Can you tell us about your case?" Sturgis asked.  
  
Murphy smiled. "Don't you guys have that stuff on file?"  
  
"We'd like to hear from you, Commander," Mac replied sternly.  
  
"Fine." Murphy looked right at them. "I went UA . my family was having some problems, and I didn't know what else to do ."  
  
But Mac promptly interrupted. "Are you sure that's the reason?"  
  
"Yes, Colonel," Murphy shot back angrily. "I admit, I should've used better judgment. I've gone through this all before. Now please tell me why you are so interested?"  
  
Sturgis looked to Mac, his eyes showing his frustration at her inability to hold her emotions. "Commander, what kind of family problems?"  
  
"Check the file," Murphy replied, showing his irritation.  
  
Bud chimed it, hoping to be calm. "We don't have the files, sir. They're missing."  
  
Murphy looked to the junior officer. His angry seemed to subside slightly. "I thought you guys ran a tight ship. At least from what I saw when I was there."  
  
Sturgis looked briefly to Bud, frustration invading his face over Bud's openness to Murphy. "What Lt. Roberts means is that the case files are unavailable to us at the moment. We're hoping to get jump start on the case. Any information you may have would be quite helpful."  
  
During this conversation Mac looked carefully around the room. Again she tuned her eyes for any outward clues. The fireplace had not been decorated for Christmas yet, but that wasn't the issue to Mac. The issue was that there were no pictures of any of his children. There weren't any pictures of his wife, either. She looked around at the mess surrounding her, and there were no toys to support the story that a child lived here.  
  
Bud suddenly asked a question that interested both Sturgis and Mac. "Commander, when did you buy this house?"  
  
Murphy looked at him strangely. "What kind of business is that of yours?"  
  
"Well, it says here that you bought this house a few weeks ago. In fact, it was right after your trial," Bud supplied innocently.  
  
"So what? People buy houses all the time."  
  
Bud shook his head. "But I don't understand, sir. This is an expensive neighborhood. In fact, I have a friend under the same rank who doesn't make nearly enough money with the Navy to try and buy a house like this."  
  
"You ever hear of saving, Lt.?"  
  
Bud nodded, "Of course, sir." Bud then backed off, but there was a contentment in his face.  
  
Sturgis then asked, "You have a good record, Commander. Why just up and leave like that?"  
  
"I told you, my family. It's that simple."  
  
"Is it? How about your trial? It didn't last very long, from the transcripts."  
  
Murphy nodded. "No, it didn't. Your Commander Rambo got me a deal pretty quick."  
  
Mac then stood up and walked around the area a little. "Commander," Mac began, "where did you say your wife was again?"  
  
Murphy looked to her. "Out of town."  
  
Sturgis then eyed Mac quickly, and decided it was time. "We're done for now, Commander."  
  
Commander Murphy stood up. "Good luck with whatever you're doing there," he said, referring to their case.  
  
Mac smiled openly and moved closer to him. Only now did she realize that he was not as tall as she had thought. In fact, she could look into his eyes. "I hope, for your sake, we are." Mac's smile quickly turned to an angry glare that she saved just for him as Sturgis and Bud were leaving the room. She followed on their heels.  
  
2 days later  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Mac's office  
  
1900 EST - December 6th, 2003  
  
Bud looked quickly to Mac, who had begun to pace a bit throughout her office. "Ma'am, I talked to Murphy's neighbors, and they don't recall him even having a wife. I talked to some of his fellow officers at Norfolk, and all they could tell me was that he kept a lot of things to himself."  
  
Sturgis walked into Mac's office. "I have the phone records finally of Commander Murphy. He knew a lot of people at the top." He handed the list of Mac.  
  
She had been unusually quiet today, but Sturgis just figured it was their exhaustion. Each had been running around like crazy through Washington, interviewing witnesses, gathering information, and learning just a bit more about their man Murphy. First off, he wasn't married. They had checked a dozen records for that. Secondly, Murphy had a tendency to leave work a lot. He had used all of his vacation time, and each reason was different. However, all involved a family of some sort, which he didn't have.  
  
Bud chimed in. "Ma'am, I also talked to his CO, who didn't say much. He's still angry that Murphy isn't in Leavenworth."  
  
"What are we missing?" Mac finally asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Sturgis countered.  
  
Mac paced some more. "Murphy is placed in Harm's apartment. We have the fingerprints to prove it. That means that whatever happened to Harm, Murphy knew about it, if he wasn't directly involved."  
  
"So what was Murphy doing?"  
  
Bud stood up and walked over to Mac. "Look, Colonel, he might've been out of the country. Look at all of the calls to the airlines."  
  
Sturgis nodded. "The interesting part is that he isn't just gone for a couple of days, he's gone for weeks at a time."  
  
Mac looked quickly to Sturgis. "He wouldn't be doing ."  
  
" . secret missions?" Bud asked jokingly.  
  
But both Sturgis and Mac looked to him. "CIA," Mac added.  
  
"That would explain why he got off," Sturgis commented.  
  
"And why the case isn't in JAG records."  
  
Bud shook his head. "You two aren't serious, are you? Commander? Colonel?"  
  
Mac shrugged. "Maybe not, but it fits."  
  
Suddenly Bud looked quickly at his watch. "Are we looking at another late night, sir?" Bud looked to Commander Sturgis.  
  
Sturgis shook his head. "No, I think we'll call it quits tonight. We've worked non-stop the past few days."  
  
Mac acted as if she didn't even hear him as she sat down at her desk again. She began looking through papers and studying the readouts and reports they had gone over a million times.  
  
Bud looked to Mac. "Ma'am, you should go home. You look tired. We're all tired."  
  
"I don't want to go home, Bud. But you two go, I'll be fine."  
  
Bud left the office, unsure of what to say or do. He just knew he couldn't help much right now, and he had to give Mac her space. However, Sturgis didn't follow him, and started talking to her. Bud couldn't hear much, but he also knew it may not be any of his business, either.  
  
Sturgis walked a little closer to Mac's desk. "When was the last time you went and saw Harm?"  
  
"A few days. Why?"  
  
Sturgis shrugged. "I don't know, it might make you feel better if you do go and see him."  
  
Mac stood up. "It's none of your business, Sturgis," she said sternly.  
  
"Mac, you can't ignore what happened. You have to face it."  
  
"I am facing it," Mac said, much more sternly than the first time.  
  
Sturgis started walking away. "Fine, maybe. But when you do, everything will go much smoother. Go and see him, Mac." With that, Sturgis left.  
  
Mac sat back down at her desk, watching both Bud and Sturgis leave, neither saying another word. They had been so good in dealing with her the past few days. She knew she had been hard. Harm was still a big part of her life, despite Paraguay and the state of their friendship. As Harm once said, "When you save someone's life, you feel responsible for them." Both had saved each other's lives at least a dozen times, and each time brought a certain sense of devotion and love for one another. So why didn't that happen in Paraguay? Clayton Webb. He wasn't the whole reason, but a lot of it. In all honestly, Harm and Mac's relationship in it's original state had gone as far as it could go. Since then a need for change was imminent.  
  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
  
2100 EST  
  
Mac had stayed just an hour more at the office before she gave it up. The next hour she just drove, thinking about everything that had happened the past few days. The case was beginning to settle in for her, and she was getting a sense of what Murphy was like. However, her mind was not on that Commander. Her mind was on Harm and the fact that somehow her driving ended at this hospital, on this floor, in front of this room. She hadn't seen Harm since the accident, so when she opened the door she was surprised to see him looking a bit better. Not very many tubes were sticking out of him. In fact, he looked almost normal, except a bit weak and very white. He had been placed in a different room, a floor below, because he was somewhat stable.  
  
She walked to the left side of his bed and sat down in the chair that was conveniently in the right place. Mac couldn't see anything walking by her, or any of the outside world. Her back was turned to all of it as she concentrated solely on Harm. She reached out and grabbed his hand. "Hey flyboy."  
  
Silence hovered throughout the room, and the only sound was Harm's even breathing. Mac stayed there all night. 


	8. Webb, Clayton Webb

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 8: Webb, Clayton Webb  
  
5 Days Later  
  
Norfolk Naval Yard  
  
1100 EST - December 11th, 2003  
  
Mac and Bud found themselves once again at Norfolk. They had been here before with this case in hand, but this time they felt a need to ask some of Murphy's fellow officers one more time about the case. They now had new questions, and new ideas to apply to the answers that would be given. The officer of most interest was Commander Timothy Wood, who had been one of Murphy's closest friends throughout both of their careers.  
  
"Did Murphy have a tendency to leave suddenly?" Mac asked as the three of them walked slowly through the yards.  
  
Wood nodded. "Yes, Colonel. However, he didn't start acting strange until a few years ago. He's always been an excellent Naval Officer. Lately, he's kept to himself, been late for meetings. It's not like him. The strange thing is that the Commanding Officers don't do anything about it. It's as if he can get away with anything. They don't like his behavior, but they look the other way."  
  
Bud looked to the Commander. "Did you say Commander Murphy had a family, sir?"  
  
Wood shook his head and smiled. "No, he didn't have a family. Never settled down. In fact, he has transferred from different bases so many times throughout the United States and over seas the last 5 years . it's no wonder."  
  
"Why was he transferred so often?" Mac asked curiously.  
  
"Navy's schedule, I guess. I don't know, Colonel."  
  
They stopped next to the ship the Commander was stationed on, the USS Seahawk. "Is there anything more you can tell us, Commander?" Bud asked.  
  
Wood seemed to hold back for just a second, and Mac became much more interested in this officer. They certainly gained information from him the first time they interviewed him, but this time seemed much more fruitful, and Mac couldn't even explain why. Wood finally spoke. "Can I speak off the record, Ma'am? Lieutenant?" Both Mac and Bud nodded. "You didn't hear this from me. Murphy has always been a great guy. He and I talked a lot with each other, shared life stories, grew up together in the Navy. Never have I seen him act like this."  
  
Mac asked the question begging to be asked. "Like what, Commander?"  
  
Wood stepped a bit closer. "He's now very edgy, nervous. Afraid of everyone around him. When we're in port, nobody sees him. He just vanishes. Murphy was always one to join in, have a drink with his fellow officers. There is something else on his mind other than the Navy. The uniform he wears now is a cover-up."  
  
"To what?" Bud asked.  
  
Wood smiled. "You two are the lawyers, figure it out. I really can't help with that one. All I can tell you is that he is a different man from the one I enlisted with 20 years ago."  
  
Mac nodded. "Thank you, Commander. Let us know if you have anything more to add."  
  
"I will, Colonel. Good day."  
  
Bud and Mac watched as the Commander turned quickly and left. He had certainly supplied them with quite a bit of information, more than they had expected. Bud looked to Mac. "This all certainly adds an interesting piece to the puzzle, doesn't it, Ma'am?"  
  
"It certainly does."  
  
JAG Headquarters - Conference Room  
  
2200 EST  
  
Sturgis and Bud found themselves elbow deep in the paper work concerning this case. The information that Bud and Mac had found earlier in the day gave the case a new element. Certainly Murphy had been lying, and that was evident. But the reasons for his lies, and what he has been truly doing these past few weeks, and years according to Wood, was still an issue. Whatever he was doing, or was involved in, had gotten the attention of Commander Rabb in some fashion. Sturgis assumed this, but certainly a justified assumption. At the moment, however, only Bud and Sturgis remained at the abyss of the endless case. Mac had left only a half an hour before. The late nights had been heavy on all of them.  
  
"It's like this case just goes deeper and deeper. The amount of people that Murphy has talked to - just from phone records - the places he's been, the lack of concern for his Naval career. His transfer records alone take up a whole file an inch thick," Sturgis replied, disgusted. The conference room had grown colder, and Bud felt his body stiffen at this sudden realization.  
  
Bud stood up. "Well, sir, I think I'm going to follow the Colonel's example and go home."  
  
Sturgis nodded, and followed Bud as he gathered his papers and began to leave. They reached the bullpen, going to their offices one last time to ensure everything was shut down for the night. "Harriet doesn't like it when I spend all of these nights at the office," Bud commented lightly.  
  
Sturgis shrugged, walking towards his office. "I'm sure she understands your commitment, Lieutenant."  
  
Bud sighed, opening his office door. "Maybe, sir. With her planning the USO tour, and me spending endless nights working on Commander Rabb's case . we haven't seen much of each other."  
  
"I wouldn't let it worry you. Christmas is almost here, Rabb's case will be cleaned up soon. You two will get back on track."  
  
Bud walked into his office. "I hope so, sir."  
  
"Hope for what?"  
  
Bud stopped, realizing that the voice that replied to him was not Sturgis'. He spun around quickly to see .. "Webb."  
  
Clayton Webb smiled at his friend. "I was actually looking for the Colonel, but you will do for now."  
  
Sturgis then walked in. "Did you say something, Lieu- ." but Sturgis quickly noticed the third figure.  
  
Bud looked to Sturgis. "You remember Clayton Webb, from the CIA?"  
  
Sturgis smiled. "I do, yes. I've heard a lot about you."  
  
Webb stood up. "All good I hope." He then paused and looked out at the bullpen through the office windows. "I was hoping to catch the Colonel before she left."  
  
"She went home," Bud commented.  
  
"I went to her apartment, and she wasn't there," Webb replied matter-of-factly.  
  
Sturgis looked to Webb. "She visits the hospital after work."  
  
Webb looked back curiously. "Really?"  
  
"It's been comforting for her."  
  
Webb just shrugged and handed Bud a brown bag. Bud opened it up, and smiled. "A chocolate shake, sir! Thanks .." but then Bud looked at Webb, knowing all too well. "What are you looking for now?"  
  
The other man just smiled. "Ah, Lieteutinant, don't be naive enough to think that it's always about you. I've come here to give you a little help."  
  
Sturgis walked closer to him. "What kind of help?"  
  
Webb looked knowingly at the Commander. "There's a reason why you two and the Colonel have found nothing concerning Murphy."  
  
"Enlighten us," Sturgis replied.  
  
Webb stepped away from him, and moved out into the bullpen. The other two followed while Webb looked curiously around the area before speaking again. "The reason is because Murphy works for the CIA."  
  
Bud glanced at Sturgis, and their suspicions were right. Bud replied, "That's why Commander Rabb was so interested."  
  
Webb nodded. "Probably. Commander Murphy showed zealous on missions, so we offered him a job. The only person who knew of his activities other than the CIA was the Secretary of the Navy. Because of that, he was able to take more time off for those missions. He was transferred to bases merely to act as a cloak to his real reasons for having to be in that particular place. It actually worked quite well for us."  
  
Sturgis didn't know what to say to this. Only that it did answer many of the questions they had. Murphy got off on his charges because of the Secretary of the Navy. He was transferred so much because of his activities in the CIA. He also lied apparently for the same reason. However, one question still remained, one that was the center of the whole investigation to begin with. "Then why did he shoot Commander Rabb?"  
  
Webb neglected to look at the two officers, knowing his next explanation would be difficult for them. "Murphy did many good things for the CIA. However, we suspected. When he was in the Middle East, strange things began to happen. Operations based on intelligence that were ensured success failed during the early parts of the war. There was no way for us to be positive, but we knew there was a leak. It took us a while to catch on, as it was, because we have many agents roaming the area. We've been investigating Murphy for quite some time. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough evidence to be sure Murphy was the double agent."  
  
Bud was still quite confused. "How does the Commander fit into all of this?"  
  
"When we found out Murphy was being investigated by the Navy - which wasn't supposed to happen, we didn't want our investigation to be compromised, nor did we want to scare Murphy off. If he's been the leak, then we wanted to know how much he had been leaking. Rabb's involvement came at the worse time, and at the best time. Worse because it almost ruined the whole set-up, best because it gave us an opportunity to bug conversations between Rabb and Murphy. Rabb found out something that we only speculated on: Murphy was acting as a double-agent to an anonymous country in the Middle East, and he was transporting important information and documents. The contents to which I will not speak of here." Webb smiled to himself, seeing Sturgis and Bud unable to hide their surprised faces.  
  
Bud became noticeably interested. "What country?"  
  
Webb smiled. "That would be telling too much."  
  
Sturgis was the first to speak. "So in short, Rabb found out Murphy's sins?"  
  
Webb nodded. "Murphy confided in Rabb, Rabb did some smart investigating, kept his findings to himself. Well, to himself and me."  
  
Bud then looked to Webb angrily. "So you knew that Commander Rabb might be in trouble?"  
  
Walking further towards the elevator, he just shrugged again. He turned to look at the younger man. "There was no way for me to know. Murphy found out what Rabb knew, came to his apartment, drugged him, tied him up, beat him up a bit, tried to shoot, missed only to his shoulder, and Rabb escaped. Escaping to Langley. That's where he was going that night."  
  
Sturgis' frustrations mounted. "So what do we do with all of this?"  
  
"If you three will help me bag Murphy, your investigation will be gone the next day," Webb offered. Sturgis nodded, and caught a look at Bud. They knew that this case had gone way beyond the jurisdiction of the Navy.  
  
Hospital  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
Harm's Room  
  
2300 EST  
  
Mac knew her conscious had began in Harm's hospital room where she had found comfort. Now, however, her dreams sent her to her apartment once more. It was nighttime, and the visions of her familiar surroundings came into view. What was most interesting was the figure sitting on the couch. The television was on, and Harm was lounging on her puffy couch, watching a movie. His gaze turned from the screen to her.  
  
"Hey Mac. Come watch a movie with me."  
  
Blindly obeying, she walked quietly over to the couch and sat next to him. "What movie are we watching?"  
  
He smiled. "Oh, one of those love flicks you like so much. Where you're never really sure if the two main characters will get together until the very end."  
  
Mac nodded, feeling her comfort growing. Many nights had they spent together doing this very activity: sitting on a couch (many times falling asleep) and watching a movie. She gazed into his deep blue eyes. "What happens after that final scene? Do we ever know if they truly live happily ever after?"  
  
Harm looked away. "Are you implying you'd rather watch a comedy?"  
  
Mac laughed. "What's your favorite movie then?"  
  
"Adventure, Action."  
  
"No love for you, huh?" Mac commented.  
  
Harm shook his head. "No no, I like love stories. Sometimes movies drag it out way too long, though."  
  
Mac replied, "Sometimes love is worth waiting for, waiting until it's done right. If there's love there in the first place, of course."  
  
"Maybe." He looked to her once again, and felt all of his problems dissolve. Sitting back against the couch, Harm looked back to the movie. Mac didn't follow him, though. She just continued to look at him. Harm couldn't help it anymore and looked back at her. "What?"  
  
Mac smiled. "Nothing really. Just curious if we will ever have that conversation."  
  
Harm glanced at her quickly and then turned back to the movie. "Not every life situation is a Meg Ryan movie."  
  
Mac stood up again and began to walk to the kitchen. "It's attitudes like that that keep us from having the conversation."  
  
Harm watched her go into the kitchen, a pang of guilt flooding his chest. He knew he had a tendency to act immature when it came to Mac, and in all honesty there was no reason to. They were both mature adults, and they both should be able to act that way. Eight years later they were still having the same conversation, and it hasn't gotten past the words, 'hello'. If it wasn't their own nerves stopping them, it was something or someone interrupting them.  
  
Mac returned and handed him a drink. He took it, and placed it back on the coffee table in front of him next to the popcorn he had made for the movie. Harm stood up quickly before Mac could sit back down. Taking her hands in his, he looked her in the eye. Harm had a sudden urge to tell her everything, to sit her down and just talk for hours. "Maybe we should ." Harm began, but found his voice catch in his throat. He had flown F-14's in battle, but he could not get up the courage to tell the woman he loves the most in the world how he feels. Mac looked at him curiously, and he finally just motioned to the couch. " . maybe we should sit down. We'll miss half the movie by falling asleep if we don't start it soon."  
  
Both sat down, and Harm pressed play on the remote to start it. Mac didn't look at Harm, but said, "That's my favorite part."  
  
Harm looked over at her as she sat back against him. "What's that?"  
  
Mac suddenly laid herself across the couch, and Harm urgently followed. She laid herself on her side, facing the TV, and Harm snuggled himself behind her. He dropped the afghan that had been laying across the couch over them, and then wrapped his arm around her protectively. She just sighed as the movie began. Finally answering, she replied simply, "This."  
  
The coolness of the room forced Mac awake. Opening her eyes, she then realized that she was not laying on her couch in a warm apartment, but in fact her head was resting on the edge of Harm's bed. Certainly sleep had been decent for her the last few weeks, but it still was difficult to gain a full 8 hours. She was lucky to get 4 a night. Pushing herself away from Harm's bed, she glanced to her watch, which read midnight. Often she refused to go home before 0100, and this night would be no exception. Reaching out, she grasped her partner's hand once again.  
  
"I don't think either of us have gotten much sleep." Mac knew she was effectively talking to herself, but part of her felt as if Harm was indeed listening. "I wish I could put both of our minds to rest. This Murphy . thing . has been difficult." The silence of the room felt heavy suddenly, but Mac felt a need to keep talking to combat it. She would not let herself realize that she was here alone, upset over a man who has been unable to find the courage to express himself to her the way she had hoped. Why is she continuing to waste her time?  
  
Mac sat back in her chair, releasing Harm's hand. "Oh Harm. Why can't you just say it? Why can't both of us just say it?" She sighed heavily and leaned back closer to him again. "There is so much we need to say to each other still. So much we need to share." She let the silence sit for a minute, and she still didn't hear the person just outside the door.  
  
Webb didn't dare go in. He had intended to, but he knew it wasn't his place. Mac was confiding in Harm, whether he was awake to hear it or not. Webb didn't have any idea what Mac had been feeling lately. He had shared a few dinner dates with Mac, and they had been enjoyable. Paraguay had been a life changing moment for both of them. They had shared quite an experience with one another, and for a while Webb was convinced there was something there between them. However, he knew better. Mac's heart, though certainly giving to everyone, belongs exclusively to one man, no matter how naïve that man might be to how lucky he really was. Certainly in his own opinion, Webb thought. Sighing, he decided it best to let Sturgis and Bud fill Mac in on the new developments in the case. He walked quietly down the hall, making sure Mac wouldn't hear him. 


	9. A Case of Revenge

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 9: A Case of Revenge  
  
The Next Day: December 12th 2003  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
1100 EST  
  
The activity throughout the office was overwhelming. Since Clayton Webb had revealed the real actions of Commander Murphy, the case had taken a completely different turn. Now instead of more investigation, they were faced with an inside operation to catch Murphy. Much like that of any other inside operations that Mac had done for Webb over the years, this one did not sound doable by any means. She wished Harm were here to suffer through this operation with her. Not because he would do a better job (which was completely untrue in Mac's opinion), but because they watched each other's backs well. They knew how to work together, what the other was thinking. Well, at least when it came to stuff like this, Mac thought to herself.  
  
They were in the Admiral's office: Bud, Sturgis, Mac, Webb, and the Admiral. Sturgis was pacing a bit as he was listening to their assignment. "Are you sure this is going to work?"  
  
Webb nodded. "Of course. As long as everyone does their job."  
  
Admiral Chegwidden did not like putting his staff under the leadership of Clayton Webb, knowing full well of the many times his plans had failed. He looked over at his 3 staff members assigned to this task. "Are you sure you three are comfortable with this?"  
  
Mac smiled warily. "Have we ever been comfortable with Webb's plans?" She looked over to Webb, who just sighed and looked away.  
  
"This should be no problem for you three. All you have to do is help us catch Murphy in the act. He's supposedly meeting someone at a bar named the "Golden Lion". I want Bud to stay back and help my video and computer team. I want Sturgis following Murphy, and Mac to be in the restaurant taping the event. My guys will come flooding in when the act is done," Webb explained coolly.  
  
Sturgis shook his head. "Why us?"  
  
Webb placed his hands on his hips. "I want JAG in this because it is partly your investigation and he will be taken up on Navy charges. Also, I want you three to see it. Lt. Roberts is proficient at electronics, Sturgis can follow Murphy well, and Mac can listen in on the conversation. They will also be speaking Farsi, in all likelihood. And she's a Marine, has good hand-to-hand combat skills to use in case something goes wrong."  
  
"Where will you be, Mr. Webb?" Bud asked.  
  
"Does it matter?" Webb asked, but then saw the glare from Chegwidden. "I'll be in the same place as you, Lieutenant."  
  
Sturgis finally stopped pacing and looked to Webb. "Is that all we have to do?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
Mac smiled to herself. It was indeed all they had to do.  
  
Outside "Golden Lion"  
  
1900 EST  
  
Bud couldn't remember the last time he had gone on a stake out. The parked van was just outside the restaurant, which only heightened the nerves of everyone inside. The video cameras were up and running in the restaurant, and their inside man - Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie - was secure. She was hiding in a booth effectively keeping herself out of sight. It appeared as if everything was set. The task force was ready on command, and Sturgis has been following Murphy since he left his home a few minutes ago.  
  
Webb started to pace behind him a bit as he watched the monitors. He looked at one to see Mac off to the side of what should be the scene of the transaction. The prospector that Murphy was trading to had a favorite table, and Mac was diagonal from it. Not only did they need to tape what would happen, but they also needed visual confirmation from someone inside. The inside person needed to see what they were seeing on the monitors to insure nothing had gone wrong with the cameras. He looked away feeling no reason to dwell on the past. Mac couldn't be at the center of his thoughts any longer.  
  
Then an expected image came into view. Webb smiled. "Do you see that Lieteunant Roberts?"  
  
Bud nodded. "Yes, sir, I do." He flipped to a channel for his headset. "Colonel?"  
  
Inside "Golden Lion"   
  
1910 EST  
  
Mac suddenly heard a sound in her earpiece. "Bud?"  
  
Bud's voice came back quickly. "We have a visual of Murphy, Ma'am. He should be entering your space soon."  
  
The earpiece then went silent, and Mac willed herself to get ready. This was it. This was what it had all come down to. All they had to do was keep quiet and wait for Murphy to do himself in. She had gotten quite tired of the case, though nabbing the guy who hurt Harm was a great feeling. Before Mac could think further on the subject, however, Murphy entered in. He quickly moved to a table. As if out of nowhere, two men joined him.  
  
Mac talked quietly in her earpiece. "He's in." She then watched quietly as Murphy and the two men began to talk.  
  
Van Outside of "Golden Lion"  
  
Bud looked to Webb. "Everything's set."  
  
Webb nodded and looked to his other technicians who were busy making sure the images would be caught effectively. The door of the van suddenly opened and Sturgis stepped in. Webb and Sturgis looked at each other with a nervous but content glare. Everything, so far, had gone to plan. Now all they had to do was wait.  
  
Inside "Golden Lion"  
  
Mac smiled to herself. Murphy had already promised the information and received the money. Looking carefully around, Murphy shifted the disk he had been holding the entire meeting over to the two unidentified men. Mac spoke again into the earpiece. "See it?"  
  
Outside:  
  
Bud replied, "Yup, we see it, Ma'am." He then looked to Webb.  
  
Webb nodded. "Move in."  
  
  
  
Inside:  
  
Suddenly a voice entered Mac's ear. "They're moving in. Be ready." Mac nodded, and waited patiently for the events to conspire in front of her. Before she could think another second, the doors flew open. The men dressed in black and heavily armed rushed in, and moved quickly to Murphy's table. Mac bent to pick up her own pistol when the room suddenly exploded in gun fire.  
  
Mac jumped out of her booth and positioned herself behind the far wall. She looked over the scene to see what had started the problems. Not only were there task force men around, but also men who had hid themselves throughout the business of the restaurant protecting the two unidentified men. She heard shooting and then silence. Mac turned to look around the corner to see everyone holding their guns at each other, finding no way out of the situation unless everyone died.  
  
She suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu. If Paraguay wasn't enough, she could certainly survive another dose of this. She then heard someone new come in. Mac looked around the corner again. Webb.  
  
"I have you outnumbered. So no one gets hurt, let's just put all the guns down. All I want is Murphy."  
  
Mac started breathing heavily as she looked away, feeling the intensity of the situation rise quite a bit. Suddenly a shot rang out from an unknown source, and then all she heard was gun fire. She breathed in, and then flipped around the corner with her pistol aimed. Without thinking, she fired once, killing the first and injuring the next before she turned herself around.  
  
Looking around the corner once more, she gazed at the ground to see an injured Clayton Webb. She wailed around the corner again and got off a few more shots. Luckily the restaurant had been relatively vacant except for a few kitchen staff and only a few customers. However, Mac could hear their gasps and could feel their worry as she hid herself behind the wall and looked to the other side of her. Through all the excitement, she had almost forgotten about the bystanders who were hiding in the same section she was.  
  
Mac pressed her finger to her lips to indicate quiet. She then whispered. "Just stay down." The two waitresses and the one customer nodded. Most likely the kitchen staff were in the kitchen, safe. More members of the task force broke through the windows and suddenly all the commotion was gone. They had clearly all escaped through a back door, possibly through the kitchen area with the task force in full chase. However, Mac was not satisfied.  
  
Looking to the three bystanders to insure their safety, she bolted around the corner and looked anxiously around. No Murphy. Her need to capture him herself invaded her. She completely forgot about Webb as she raced out the front door. Stopping out front of the restaurant, Mac glanced both ways quickly. It was then that she saw a lone figure running south. Through all of his efforts, Murphy had no friends to help him or cover him. He was alone.  
  
Smiling to herself, Mac raced down the street towards him. Her Marine training kicked in as she felt her pace quicken and her breathing even out. All those morning runs had certainly come in handy throughout her years at JAG, despite only being a lawyer. One would be surprised at the amount of times her physical abilities would be her best asset.  
  
Before she knew it, she had nearly caught up to him. A thought raced through her mind. Never has a squid out raced a jarhead. At least not now where she was concerned as Mac intensified her pace and was on him. She jumped out and landed on him, knocking him down as she fell. Murphy quickly came to his feet, only then realizing who had been following him for the last 200 yards.  
  
Murphy barely comprehended the image before him as he was kicked to the ground. He tried to stand up, but was again knocked to the ground. Mac could feel her adrenaline racing as she bent down to him and started to punch him harshly in the face. She nailed his head into the ground and was about to do so again when she stopped. Shoving him down, she looked at him. "I take it personally when someone hurts one of my friends. I should kill you right now for all the pain you've caused."  
  
Mac then stood up completely and continued to glare at Murphy. "You're not worth it. I would've killed you had you done the same to Harm." She started to walk away as she sensed some of the task force members running to her aid. However, they would find out soon enough no aid was needed. Mac then looked back to Murphy. "By the way, never lie to a Marine." The task force was there in seconds and picked him up off the ground.  
  
Sturgis was looking on from a distance. He had run to Mac's aid, as well, but he knew better. From day one Mac had taken this case personally. From day one she was determined to catch the person who had been at the center of the crimes. As he looked on, Sturgis saw contentment in Mac's face through all of the anger. It was done. 


	10. In The End

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Chapter 10: In The End .  
  
3 Days Later: December 15th, 2003  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
1000 EST  
  
The Admiral's office had been full of activity. The Murphy case was now officially done with and the reports were handed in. He only had to be presented in court and sentenced. Mac looked to Sturgis and Bud, both of whom had stuck with her and dealt with her changing moods. It had certainly been an interesting few weeks. They had done everything they had set out to do. Murphy was caught and justice had been served. However, Harm was still in a coma. Despite all their work, Mac felt like she had failed.  
  
Chegwidden scanned their reports. "You three did very well."  
  
Sturgis nodded. "Yes, sir. Murphy was charged, and he plead guilty."  
  
"And he will have a lot to answer for to the CIA," came Webb's voice as he walked in. "Admiral, Commander, Lieutenant, Colonel. The CIA has taken over the case. It's no longer yours." He was wearing a cast around his arm from the injuries he sustained in the restaurant.  
  
Bud showed his confusion. "What do you mean, sir? He still has Naval charges to face in court."  
  
Webb shook his head. "As far as everyone is concerned in this room, Murphy never existed."  
  
Chegwidden stood up to look at Webb. "Webb, we are charging Murphy. Justice has to be done."  
  
"I agree. But it won't be under your watch. Not for this man," Webb replied. He then took a piece of paper out of his coat jacket and handed it to the Admiral.  
  
The Admiral growled, "What's this?" and took it angrily. He opened it up and looked inside.  
  
Webb only smiled. "Orders from the Secretary of the Navy. This case is done." With that, Webb looked briefly to everyone else in the room. "Thank you for your efforts." He then left.  
  
Admiral Chegwidden looked to the three officers. "You three go home. Get some rest." The three stood, saluted, and left quickly.  
  
JAG Headquarters - Outside Elevators  
  
Mac ran through the bullpen to see Webb. She knew she had been ignoring him, and also knew he deserved an apology.  
  
Webb looked over his shoulder to see Mac approaching him. He turned to look at her as she stopped in front of him. "Thanks for helping us, Clay."  
  
He nodded. "No problem."  
  
Mac sighed noticeably. "I'm not going to be able to join you for dinner tonight, as we had planned a while back. I have to go ."  
  
Before she could finish, however, Webb jumped in. " . to see Rabb, I know. As I said in the Admiral's office, it's done."  
  
Mac looked at him, seeing a hurt in his eyes. She was sorry it had turned out this way. However, all of the events had reminded her of the love she had for Harm. Granted, she can't let herself get walked on as Harm has done in the past, but she also knew she needed to give him a chance to redeem himself. Despite all of the problems they had had, there had been a lot of good moments. Wonderful moments that she wouldn't forget. Or rather, couldn't.  
  
She shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Webb."  
  
Webb nodded as the elevator door opened. He walked in and disappeared quickly. It was indeed over.  
  
As quickly as it had all came, it also ended just as quickly. JAG went on as usual, and Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie felt her life had changed. It certainly was not as profound as Paraguay, but certainly noticeable enough. Every night she found herself at Harm's bedside. Every night she said a pray for him, never losing faith. A week went by, then two, and suddenly Christmas was over. Most depressing, however, was that Harm showed no change.  
  
It was now New Year's Eve, and again Mac found herself with Harm. What was just as depressing was that her dreams of Harm had vanished. Since the case had been solved, she had dreamless sleep. All she wanted was to talk to him again, to know that he was going to be all right. The case had quieted many of her nerves, but she still couldn't get past the fact that she may have lost her chance with him.  
  
As Mac pondered these things in her heart, she suddenly realized she had fallen asleep. She barely recollected the distant sounds of Dick Clark, and the nursing staff singing in the New Year. All she thought of was the distant dreams that were evading her inner thoughts. In fact, all of the extra activity reigning throughout her dreamless sleep almost drowned out a touch on her hand.  
  
Mac's eyes suddenly opened, realizing that she was laying her head next to Harm's arm. What was most surprising was the innate sense that told her something extraordinary had just happened. Lifting her head off of the bed, Mac turned her eyes quickly to Harm. What matched her was a pair of eyes staring back. The dark blue eyes that she could swim through if she let herself do so. Harm reached out his hand to her, and she grabbed a tight hold of it.  
  
Smiling, Mac bent closer to him. "Hey there, Flyboy."  
  
A smile was returned. "Hey."  
  
Mac reached up quietly and kissed him on the forehead. She looked back at him with a sense of calm. "You gave us quite a scare."  
  
Harm then took a look outside, realizing just how long he had been away. Mac turned his face to her and kissed him again, this time lightly on the lips. She knew she needed to go get the nurses, but this moment was one she wanted to cherish. Whatever happened next didn't matter. All that mattered was that everything was right with the universe, even for just this moment. If it wasn't the familiar New Year's Eve tune, or the soft moment her and Harm shared, it would be the relief of knowing that finally everything was the way it should be. A new year had begun. 


	11. Epilogue: Left Unsaid

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.  
  
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.  
  
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.  
  
Epilogue: Left Unsaid  
  
Harm's Apartment  
  
North of Union Station  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
January 10th, 2004  
  
  
  
Harm's dreams had been disturbing. He couldn't let go of the images of that night, being tied up in his apartment and beaten. The experience was one he wished to forget, despite his inability to forget them. He had been sleeping for days, not including his time in the hospital. Exhaustion was evident, and every day seemed like a new challenge he had to face. He only hoped it would get easier, and he also hoped he would regain his strength soon.  
  
Harm then realized that something or someone was looking over him, and he opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw Mac smiling down on him. "The doctor told me to check up on you. You can never be too careful with head injuries," Mac said.  
  
"Thanks. For everything," Harm replied back quietly.  
  
Mac stood up. "Do you need me to get you anything? I need to get back to work soon, but I can get you something."  
  
Harm thought about it for a few seconds, than answered, "Some tea would be good."  
  
Mac nodded. "All right. I'll be right back." She then left into the kitchen. Harm watched her leave, feeling a sense of his own contentment. Sitting up, he decided it was time to try and walk. Being in bed for days wasn't his idea of fun, and he wanted to see how strong he had gotten, even if it was only a lap around the kitchen. He stepped out of the bed feeling every bone in his body ache. Moving one step at a time, he reached the kitchen where he saw Mac making the tea.  
  
Looking back at the approached figure, she frowned. "Harm, I would've brought it to you."  
  
He nodded. "I know, but I wanted to walk around a bit. I feel very stiff."  
  
Mac smiled and put two coffee cups on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Harm made it to the stools and lifted himself up on to one. He looked up at her seeing someone caught up in her task. "So, what did I miss?" Harm asked.  
  
"Not much. I was just fixing the tea," Mac replied, smiling widely.  
  
Harm shook his head. "Nothing's changed."  
  
Mac then looked to him. "You don't think so?"  
  
He shrugged. "Well, maybe, but I have to know what has happened since I've been gone."  
  
Mac nodded. "Fine. Well, we caught Murphy. Found out he was working for the CIA, but also for another country in the Middle East. I'm sorry Murphy hurt you." Mac poured the tea into Harm's cup.  
  
He picked up his cup, and shook his head. "He didn't. He just stood there."  
  
Mac looked to him. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I did found out quite a bit. I wasn't sure, though. When I began asking questions, Murphy got upset. He came to my apartment with a bunch of these other guys. All were of Arab descent, I believe," Harm answered.  
  
Mac sighed. "So Murphy didn't do anything to you?"  
  
Harm shook his head no.  
  
"Webb told us he was the one who hurt you. Probably so we would help him," Mac realized, a bit of irritation apparent in her voice.  
  
Harm showed a strange look. "How did Webb know anything?"  
  
"He told us you told him."  
  
Harm just sipped his tea. "I admit I was heading to Langley that night, but I didn't tell him anything before hand."  
  
Mac leaned on the island feeling anger invade her chest. "I should've realized. Which means he definitely had cameras somewhere in here."  
  
"I hope they're gone, I don't have the energy right now to look for them," Harm replied, sipping some more of his tea.  
  
Mac sipped some of her tea as well, looking at Harm with interest. "What do you remember? About being in a coma, I mean."  
  
Harm shrugged. "Not much really. It was like I was suddenly awake. I don't even remember being asleep." Mac showed her disappointment, and Harm looked to her with concern. "Why?"  
  
"No reason." Mac knew she was hoping for too much. What the two of them had shared was only in her dreams, no matter how much she wished it had been different. "Do you need anything else?"  
  
Harm took the last sip of his tea and looked up at her. "I think I'm going to need help back to the bed."  
  
Mac smiled openly. "Boy, it's usually at least 3 dates before I do something like that." Harm couldn't help but smile back and began to stand. Mac moved quickly to the other side and helped him down carefully off of the stool. They then walked slowly towards across the rest of the kitchen and finally into the bedroom. Mac was holding onto Harm's arm as they reached their destination, and she carefully helped him lay back down. "You still seem a little ginger."  
  
Ham nodded. "Yeah, it's just because I haven't been moving." He then looked back up at Mac, seeing her helping him. "Actually, all of this has helped me see some things better."  
  
Mac sat down on the bed next to him with a curious glare. "What could that be?"  
  
He sighed. "Well, even though I have yet to set a foot out of this door, I know my life has changed. I just can't take things lightly anymore. I can't let chances get away."  
  
"That's true. I think I learned that in Paraguay."  
  
"Is that why you rejected me?"  
  
Mac shook her head and stood up. "Don't start this, Harm. I rejected you because you don't know how to share your feelings. I have no real answer to why you risked your life for me in Paraguay."  
  
Harm nodded quietly, and looked down quickly to the bed sheets. He then looked back up at her. "I did it because ." Harm began, but then stopped. Here it was. Could he say it? He had to say it. If what he just said meant anything to him, he had to say it. He looked into her eyes then. "I did it because I missed you. Because I didn't want to see you hurt. I didn't want to have to break in a new partner, and ." smiling, he continued, ". because I love you."  
  
Mac looked into his dark blue eyes and smiled brightly. "That's all I needed to hear." Harm's smile became wider as Mac bent down and kissed him on the cheek. She then stepped back. "I'll let you get some rest. I'll be back, we can talk some more then." Harm just watched her begin to leave. In all honesty he didn't want her to go. Not now. Not after everything they had just shared. That he had shared. He then replied, "Wait." Mac turned back to look at him, standing just at the footsteps leading to his kitchen. "Don't go. I'm still not feeling that great tonight. Can you just stay with me?" Mac thought for a second, and then walked back towards him. "Sure." She then moved to the other side of the bed and sat next to him. He smiled a thank you, and shifted himself on his side, laying his head in Mac's lap. A distant memory came into her mind, of a far off wish in her heart. She began to run her hands through his hair, and he sighed contently. He wrapped on arm around her knees and felt all the worries of the world melt away. Mac felt his breathing even out, and felt the skin on his neck tingle involuntarily underneath her touch. She bent down to his hear, and with a quiet whisper said, "I love you, too."  
  
The End 


End file.
